Companion planting: how the right relationships can help you grow

I don’t know much about companion planting in a gardening sense, but I have come to know a bit about companion planting in terms of relationships.

Relationships, whether intimate or at arms length, can have a huge impact on how well equipped we are to follow our dreams and, as a consequence, how well we live our lives.

Negative relationships can leave us feeling drained, empty and insignificant. Positive relationships can boost our confidence and help create a self view that is healthy and productive.

Most of us don’t tend to put a lot of thought or effort into managing our relationships to our benefit, or to the benefit of others. But getting up close and personal with the right people can help us get ahead in life. I don’t mean that we should pick our friends based on their wealth or influence. I have known people who pursue relationships purely because they believe it will help them advance their career, introduce them to the right crowd or bring them business opportunities. No, what I mean is that we should ensure we allow into our lives those people who can help us become who we were meant to be.

I know that plants do not do so well when they are planted on their own, with no other foliage around them. They grow more slowly and need more care than those that are planted amongst other vegetation. But if they are planted in the wrong position or alongside plants that are incompatible, they will suffer.

Like plants, we all differ in what it takes to make us grow. Some varieties do better in the shade while others love the sunlight. Some are hardy enough to cope with frost, but others suffer in the cold. Just like plants, we should ensure that we are planted in the right place alongside the right people if we really want to flourish.

There are a lot of Jacaranda trees where we live. The Jacaranda tree is a native of Brazil but grows prolifically in Australia. Its leaves are frond-like and leading into Spring it puts on a beautiful display of purple, trumpet like flowers. But there is one particular tree a few streets away that never has the opportunity to show its true colours. There is a vigorous vine that has grown up the trunk and taken over its branches, to the point where it is difficult to recognise it as a Jacaranda. When we should be enjoying its blossoms, its spindly branches are strangled by the vine and unable to bloom.

But just down the road is a large fig tree. Now fig trees don’t have flowers, but every year the tree puts on a magnificent display as it drips with huge clusters of purple Wisteria blooms. The tree actually looks like it is flowering, and the growth of the tree appears unaffected by the Wisteria vine hidden beneath its branches.

In life, as in the garden, there are some relationships that strangle us and hinder our growth. Like the vine on the Jacaranda, they inhibit our ability to be ourselves and to express our own unique personality. Relationships that are defined by stress, fear, abuse, one-sided giving or simply a lack of affection can stunt our emotional, spiritual and creative growth. We will be confined to a space that restricts our capacity to learn, explore, discover and grow.

The really valuable relationships are those that add something special to who we are. Like the Wisteria vine that lives in the fig tree, they don’t stop us from growing into the person we were designed to be and, in fact, they allow us to develop characteristics and accomplish things that go beyond what we could achieve on our own through encouragement, inspiration and positive reinforcement.

Now, this doesn’t mean we should discard all those relationships that don’t quite measure up in terms of what we expect from them. But we should certainly make sure we have a balance in our lives. After all, life is as much about what we give back to others as it is about what we receive from them.

How do your relationships measure up in terms of companion planting? Are you constantly in someone else’s shadow, or do you have a friend who allows you to shine from time to time? If you are not able to cope with pests and diseases, are you planted near someone who shields you, helping you resist those things that would otherwise do you harm? In a powerful storm, are you supported by someone who is bigger and stronger and who can protect you from serious damage?

It is good for us to reflect from time to time on our relationships, understanding which ones are beneficial and which are detrimental. Spend more time in the company of those who allow you to grow and less time in the company of those who diminish you.

And as you grow, be mindful that you may well be the companion that enables others to freely pursue healthy and productive lives - the Wisteria vine that gives the fig tree the ability to flower.

“A man's growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” (Jesus)

Article by WENDY RUSH,  courtesy of Ignite Life.  www.ignitelife.com.au